The following is a list of the marks we use to correct your work.
Please study these marks carefully so you can easily understand
our corrections. They are not the same as typical Japanese editorial
marks.
MARK .................................
MEANING
[ ]......................................... Insert a letter,
word or phrase.
/............................................ Delete a
letter, word, or phrase.
Bolded words................. Change or Move a word or
phrase.
[sp]...................................... Correct a spelling
error.
In addition, please note the following:
¥ We will use arrows (>) to distinguish your translation from
our correction.
¥ We will correct punctuation where needed.
¥ We will occasionally refer you to the Answers rather than revising
or correcting your sentence.
¥ We will sometimes make corrections without commenting on them.
These changes will be easy to understand.
¥ We will insert, delete, or change prepositions and articles
without commenting on them or deducting points for improper usage.
Note that in the Articles course and in the other mini-courses,
we do comment on article misuse, and it can affect your score.
¥ We will occasionally shorten long and wordy phrases without
commenting on them.
In scoring your papers, we deduct points for the following:
¥ incorrect usage of a specific concept from the lesson
¥ basic grammatical errors
¥ changing the meaning of the sentence
¥ awkward phrasing
Please look carefully at our corrections and learn from your mistakes.
This is one of the most valuable methods for learning natural
English.
Student name:
Student number:
Lesson/Exam number:
Date:
Grader: Annabelle
REWRITING SCORE:
TRANSLATION SCORE:
TOTAL SCORE:
CHECKER:
SCORE CHECKER:
Rewriting Exercise:
1.
>Read the instructions before assembing the desk.
+2
Read the instructions before assembling[sp] the desk.
2.
>When clearing a paper jam, be very careful not to touch the
fuser.
+1
When clearing a paper jam, be / careful not to touch the
fuser.
The point of this sentence is to eliminate very, which
doesn't add meaningful emphasis in this context. Please review
the Clear Writing section of the Sample Lesson.
Translation Exercise:
11.
>As crates are heavy, we loaded them into a track with a forklift.
+7
Because [the] crates were [extremely] heavy,
we loaded them into a truck[sp] with a forklift.
As has many meanings and is often vague. Because
is a stronger word to indicate a reason. In this case,
it indicates why a forklift was used to load the crates.
Because the original Japanese is in the past tense, your translation
should be also.
In this sentence, extremely emphasizes the degree of weight
and is an important word of emphasis.
12.
>For sanding large surfaces, electric buffers are more efficient
than manual buffers.
+8
For polishing large surfaces, electric buffers are more
efficient than manual buffers.
Polishing is an action that shines a surface. Sanding
is an action that removes material from a
surface. A buffer is a tool used for polishing.
Manual buffers is a good translation. Hand buffers
is another common way to refer to tools that are designed to be
used by hand.
Rewriting Exam:
YOUR ANSWERS:
>This letter is written to you to let you know that we received
the fax you sent on Monday. We were able to utilize the information
to make our presentation clearer.
+3, +3
CORRECTIONS:
I am writing this letter / to let you know that we received
the fax you sent on Monday. We were able to use the information
to make our presentation clearer.
COMMENTS:
Is written is passive voice. You can make this sentence
active by choosing a new subject for it. Please note my changes
You can use the simpler verb use instead of utilize.
Translation Exam:
YOUR ANSWERS:
>We are now considering three types of design for your factory
and will decide a practical design next month. Our cheif engineer,
Mr. Iwasaki is planning to visit Wilsonville in April 16. We would
like to have a meeting with your project manager, Mr. Mc Farland.
Before that, a achitect will send you a copy of three designs.
+10, +9, +10, +10
CORRECTIONS:
We are now considering three / factory designs and will
decide [on] [the most] practical design next month. Our
chief[sp] engineer, Mr. Iwasaki is planning to visit Wilsonville
[on] April 6. We would like to schedule a meeting
with your project manager, Mr. McFarland. Before the meeting,
an architect[sp] will send you copies of [the]
three designs.
COMMENTS:
The phrase types of unnecessarily emphasizes that each
of the three designs has characteristics that distinguish it from
the other two. The plural phrase three factory designs
adequately conveys this idea. We discuss this concept in Lesson
13.
In this structure, when using decide to express the idea
of choosing something, it is correct to use the preposition on
with it: decide on.
Practical design means a useful design. Because
it is likely that Officetech would review designs that are all
useful, it seems logical to indicate that one design will be more
useful than the others. The most practical design expresses
this idea. In our Answer, we used actual to emphasize the
contrast between the three designs that the company is now reviewing
and the one that will be selected next month. We discuss actual
in Lesson 3.
The correct date is April 6.
We would like to have a meeting implies that Mr. Nagashima
will also attend the meeting with Mr. McFarland. Although this
is a possibility, the context doesn't seem to support it. The
verb schedule works well to convey the idea that although
Mr. Nagashima is arranging the meeting, he won't necessarily attend
it.
Before that is slightly vague. The meaning is clearer if
you specify before the meeting.
In this context, the plural copies works well to convey
the idea that the architect will send one copy of each of the
three designs being reviewed.
CLOSING COMMENTS:
Excellent work. Your English skills are already at a high level,
and I think you would enjoy the challenges that our course offers.
Learning subtle differences in vocabulary and sentence structure
can make your writing sound more natural and give it a professional
tone.